she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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