He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize