So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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