I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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