im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
