We won't sleep together?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
