i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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