apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
