I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
