i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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