I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
