So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
