I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
