Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
