Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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