i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
