is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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