Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
...so i touched it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
