Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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