areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
