He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
