Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
