Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This is classic penis vs brain.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
