i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
