I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
