I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i came on her dog
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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