I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
