whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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