i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
