Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
