Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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