i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
