Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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