Sry I called you an 8
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
