I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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