I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
