me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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