He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
