My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
