we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
