I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
