I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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