If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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