I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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