that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
