I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
