dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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