i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
