that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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