How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
